Inside the Actor’s (Portrait) Studio

Posted in Uncategorized by Joie on June 12, 2008

VARIABLE: Take a random sample of older actresses from the top of my head (current and former A-listers) courtesy of IMDB’s exclusive profile pictures, the ones that you usually see attached to their names:

(Set A: win $100 for each correct guess)

CONTROL: Budding bossom buddies (not a promo for Sisterhood of Travelling Pants 2):

(Set B: America Ferrera, Alexis Biedel, Blake Lively, Amber Tamblyn)


  1. Not sure if IMDB is trying to KEEP IT REAL, or tone down the artificial glamour of our popular muses , but the quality for set A screams out either the 90s, outdated camera phone or fresh off Perez Hilton, unflattering and downright plain jane. You can attract Joe Schmo AND Jerry Bruckheimer. Good luck!
  2. While it requires little mental acuity to separate the younger thespians from the mature clique by professional headshots alone, for the computer obsessed generation, logging in is only a password away. Those who tend their reflections versus those who let others tend it for them. The real enigma still remains: who are these nameless managers of celebrity idolatry? Or, if I was Cate Blanchett, is that what I want my kids to point at and say, “She’s my mummy.”
  3. All the portraitures lack any labels of when and where. Just a cascade of question markers to tease our ignorance of important cultural memory.
  4. If the IMDB gods are reading this, please keep everything as it is, I love to remember Angelina before Brangelina.

RESULTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE: Repeat the experiment with male actors.


3 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Kim said, on June 12, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    I am screencapping this shit and will be holding you to the $100/correct guess, bitch. Don’t mock the internet.

    Also, does Maggie really count as older? Where does that leave your tired face?

  2. Joie said, on June 14, 2008 at 1:11 am

    That’s old by Hollywood standards. She was born in 1977. Dakota Fanning is old. I’m old. You’re old. C’est la vie.

  3. Kim said, on June 17, 2008 at 9:15 am

    I beg to differ. C’est la shit, monkeypaws. (Oh yeah, I decided to start calling your hands your “manhandlers.” It’s what you handle your man with.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: